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How Not To Become Lunch: 6 - Pay Attention
Despite the looming threat of being eaten, Jack was actually having a pretty good time- well at least as high school classes went. He listened and watched with notable interest as their teacher lectured at the head of the room, while pacing around in front of a sizable tub filled with some unknown liquid. Short of magic, science had always been one of his favorite subjects, and it was made all the more enjoyable by the fact that the school’s science teacher was, by some miracle, a human.
“Now, I hope most of you, after that talk on acids and bases, have some idea of what kind of experiment we’ll be performing today,” said Prof. Boron, looking over his class. He was happy to find most of his students were still attentive and only a small few seemed on the verge of sleep.
“In this tub here I have a highly acidic solution. Can anyone tell me where one might come across something like this in life?” he asked. No hands went up. “Oh, come now, this should be easy for all you preds in the room.” He looked over the students and picked out one of the duller-looking ones: a werewolf boy who was a bit hunched over at his desk. “How about you? Can you tell me where one might find a natural concentration of acids?”
The boy jolted upright, thought frantically for a moment, and then replied.
“Um… at the base of a chimney?”
The fact that he’d managed to glean the word ‘base’ from the professor’s lecture and work it into his answer didn’t do much to relieve the teacher’s disappointment. The professor sighed and put a pair of fingers to his temples.
“No, Mr. Wolfe, ‘acids’, not ‘ashes’.”
The rest of the class had a laugh as the werewolf sank deep into his chair with a quiet growl.
“The stomach- especially that of a predator- is a highly acidic place. Stomach acids play an important role in the digestion of food. I think it would benefit predator and potential prey alike if we all understood these acids a bit more.”
Prof. Boron walked over to his nearby desk, opened a drawer, and took out a number of items: a tray of white capsules, a large pair of tongs, and-
“Professor? Is that a drumstick?” one of the students asked.
“Yes, that’s right,” he replied. He waved the small hunk of meat around, holding it by the bone, catching the attention of several preds before placing it down on his desk and picking up the tongs in its place.
“I’m sure we’ve all witnessed digestion before, but I doubt any of you have ever seen it quite like this.”
He walked back over to the tub of acid and dipped the tongs inside.
“That drumstick came in a pair. Before class started, I put the other one in here to have a little soak. Let’s see how it looks now, shall we?”
He pulled the tongs out to reveal the second piece of meat- except what was left hardly resembled meat at all. Almost as soon as he had pulled it out, clumps and globs of goopy sludge began to slide off, visibly melting from the bone, which was just about the only part that still seemed solidly intact. After holding it up for a few moments, what was left of the drumstick was hardly half the size of its counterpart, and far less appetizing.
I kinda wish I hadn’t seen that… Jack thought, not quite able to look away. Maybe science class isn’t so great after all.
“It should be plain to see that acids can be quite destructive, but they’re only one side of the coin, so to speak. Bases- the acid’s opposite- can be just as damaging in high concentrations like this. But science gives us the ability to understand these powerful forces of nature, and with that understanding, we can sometimes bend those same forces to our whims.”
Prof. Boron placed the tongs and former drumstick on a nearby trey and, with a turn, gestured towards his desk.
“Over here I have some tablets of a highly alkaline substance- that is to say, a base. Can anyone tell me what will happen if I add a few of these tablets into my solution over there?”
One hand went up and the professor gestured permissively.
“It’ll melt that chicken leg even faster?” came an uncertain voice. Before the professor had a chance to respond, another hand shot up, but this student didn’t wait to be called out.
“Oh! No, it’ll neutralize!” came the answer.
“Yes! Precisely,” Prof. Boron replied with a grin.
He reached over and grabbed a few of the white tablets, then proceeded to drop them into the tub one at a time. Almost immediately the students started to hear a hissing sound, accompanied by some burbling as frothy bubbles began to form on the surface of the acidic liquid.
“What you’re seeing is the acid and the base combining to form neutral elements. These include liquids, some solids, and a bit of gas, which you can see bubbling off. If I drop enough of these into the solution it will become completely harmless, though too much and it will start to become alkaline.”
Jack watched fixedly, as did most of the other students, as the tub continued to boil and churn, even as the professor ran out of tablets in his hand and reached over for more.
Except there was one student who wasn’t so interested in the experiment. One who had slipped away from his desk, and was now moving stealthily toward the front of the room while the rest were distracted, seemingly unnoticed.
“Now then, I-”
“Professor look out!” came a worried cry from one of the students. All eyes shifted and saw the lone predator, the werewolf boy from earlier, down on all fours with a feral look in his eyes and one good leap away from the unsuspecting teacher. Or so it appeared.
As soon as the werewolf had been called out, or perhaps even just before, Prof. Boron pulled his hand into a tight fist around his handful of tablets. As the predator pounced, jaws spreading wide, ready to take his revenge, the professor brought his fist up to his face, and showed what Jack could have sworn was a smirk.
The rest happened in the blink of an eye. The professor opened his hand and blew the crushed up remains of the tablets into the predator’s maw, while taking a neatly timed step to one side. The werewolf flew past him, crashing into the front wall, and then began to holler, growl and cough as he ran his furry hands against his snout.
“Bitter, isn’t it?” he asked. The werewolf seemed too distraught to reply. “Humans don’t get to live long in this world without being able to spot a hungry predator,” he lectured. “And while you may be allowed to eat other students- between classes, I’ll remind you- trying to eat a teacher is definitely not allowed. That’s a month’s detention, Mr. Wolfe. Go see the principal, get a drink of water on the way, and when you come back I’ll give you something for your throat.”
Still coughing and wheezing, the humiliated werewolf staggered out of the classroom and down the hall. Prof. Boron turned to the rest of the class.
“Now, then. Any questions?”
…
*ring*
“Alright, class dismissed.”
*indistinct chatter*
Wow… that was a really cool science class, Jack thought as the students around him began to leave their desks. He continued to sit for a moment, staring off at nothing in particular as he thought back on it, before eventually standing himself and starting toward the door. He was approaching the front of the room, when he suddenly heard a shrill cry.
“Aaaahhh!”
Jack looked sharply to his left and saw the terrified face of a boy wearing large glasses. The poor kid evidently hadn’t developed Prof. Boron’s skill of “being able to spot a hungry predator”, because his arm was currently elbow deep in the mouth of a grinning hyena boy who apparently had skipped out on breakfast.
“No! Stop! Let me go!” the human boy yelled. Holding his prey’s arm with both hands, the pred gulped loudly, pulling him in further. The spectacled student looked around frantically, trying to find something he could use to save himself. His eyes settled on the tray of white tablets sitting on the edge of the teacher’s desk. Reaching out, he just barely managed to stretch and grab a handful of tablets with his free hand, just before his predator swallowed again, pulling him in up to his shoulder.
Jack glanced at Prof. Boron, who had recently noticed the scuffle, and saw the teacher grin, evidently proud that one of his students seemed to have been paying attention. He watched eagerly for the outcome.
Now brought in much closer, the hyena kid grabbed the boy’s waist, lifting him up to better direct his head into the widening, toothy maw. The kid took his fistful of tablets and plunged it into the predator’s throat along with his other arm.
“Ha! You might as well let me go, there’s no way you’ll be able to digest me now!” he jeered.
The professor’s smile suddenly morphed into a disappointed frown.
The hyena boy, who either knew better or just hadn’t been paying much attention in class, only grinned wider- as if thanking the human for helping himself further down the hungry gullet- and then swallowed once again, bringing the human’s spectacled face just an inch or two away from the fleshy abyss.
“Wait! What are you doing!? I told you-”
*gulp*
Another swallow brought the kid deeper, reducing his words to frantic, muffled tones as the bulge in the hyena boy’s throat grew. After that it wasn’t long before his shoulders followed, and then gravity and peristalsis kicked in in earnest and the poor student slid rather quickly into the predator’s now bulbous belly. The hyena boy giggled, and then laughed- as hyenas do.
As the pred stood there for a moment, admiring his catch, Jack turned towards the teacher.
“Those tablets won’t save him, will they professor?” Jack asked, reading the teacher’s expression.
“If he had crushed them and blown them onto his predator’s tongue, or up his nose, he might have gotten the pred to cough up his arm; that might have saved him. But no, they won’t do him as much good in there as he hopes. Even if those alkaline tablets provide enough of a base to neutralize the present acids, there’s always more being made. Eventually those tablets will get used up and he’ll dissolve anyway. The poor kid’s probably only made the unpleasant process longer for himself. Not to mention there are plenty of other things to worry about in a stomach besides the acids: enzymes, lack of air, the mechanical churning… Oh, there should be one other interesting side effect though.”
*UUURRRP*!
The hyena boy suddenly let out a huge belch, and then immediately broke out laughing. A few seconds later, he let out another.
*BUUAAARRP*
“Hahahahaha!!”
“The reaction results in a bit of excess gas,” Prof. Boron reminded, “so he’ll be burping like that for a while. Actually, his prey might get some belated revenge when he moves on toward the bowels. The flatulence will probably make ‘Mr. Chuckles’ the laughingstock of his class.”
The hyena boy, still laughing to himself, continued through the classroom door, letting out another thunderous belch as he made his way down the hall. Jack gave him some time to get ahead, before following suit and heading out toward his next class. He had gone some distance down the hall and was just about to turn a corner when he heard a familiar voice call out from behind.
“Jack!”
He turned around and spied Fiona, waving to him from nearby.
“Hey,” he waved back with a smile as she started walking over.
“When I heard all that burping I was really nervous that someone might have- Watch out!!”
Seeing Fiona shout and point, Jack quickly turned back around, only to see a wall of brown fur suddenly slam into him from around the corner, knocking him over. He closed his eyes as he fell, and when he opened them again he found himself staring up at a large, intimidating, teenage bear.
Oh no… Jack thought fearfully.
Grizz huffed and looked down at him. The bulky predator still had a sizable lump in his belly from earlier, but it was now eerily still. The observation only frightened Jack even more. The bear boy scowled.
“You snacks should learn to watch where you’re going,” he growled in a deep voice, immediately reaching down and lifting Jack up by his shirt.
“No, Grizz! You put him down!” Fiona shouted, turning her casual walking into a sprint. As Jack’s feet left the group, Fiona lunged, throwing herself at the larger predator. Grizz put up one large, furry arm, which the werewolf crashed into in midair and wrapped herself around, stopping her in her tracks. Then with a swing of his elbow, the bear flung her back onto the ground.
“Buzz off, fluffy, this one’s mine,” he said in a casually angry tone, before opening his maw wide for Jack to see.
“No!” the terrified boy squealed, staring down the slimy, red gullet as it slowly grew closer.
“Hey there big boy ♥” came a sweetly spoken voice from nearby. Jack tore his eyes off his impending doom and looked over to see Lily of all people, her head resting cutesily on her arms, resting on top of the very arm that was currently holding Jack in the air. Grizz looked over as well.
“Hey, babe,” he replied.
“Whatchu got there?” she asked.
“Just some snack that ran into me.”
“Hm, he does seem like a tasty one,” she said encouragingly, glancing over Jack with charming, innocent eyes. The marked boy cursed mentally as Grizz followed her gaze back to him. He saw the big bear begin to open his mouth again, his teeth glinting as they caught the light.
“Oh, Grizz, isn’t that that one kid who ran off after spilling water all over you?” Lily asked, pointing at one of the other students walking by. Grizz looked and let out a low growl.
“Yeah, that is him.”
“If you ask me, he got off way too easy,” she said offhandedly. “I even overheard him telling some of the other kids about how he managed to get away from you.”
“That loudmouth shoulda kept his yap shut,” he said with another angry growl.
Without another glance in Jack’s direction, Grizz shifted his arm, signaling Lily to get off, before tossing Jack to the side, sending him crashing right into Fiona who had just finished getting back up. They heard the bear begin to stomp away as they rolled off each other, and as they picked themselves up again they noticed Lily approach. She walked up to Fiona and, with a hand to one side of her mouth, whispered.
“Now we’re even for Greg.”
Then the frog girl winked and ran off to follow her boyfriend down the hall.